By: aielnq.near
Ellyr “aieln” Q

I remember the first time I landed on my feet at this messy school playground. I never liked the noise, yet I had no choice but to stay here and waited for somebody to fetch me and drive me home. Despite my aloofness in crowds, there was this one kid that always caught my attention. Her heart-melting boisterous voice synced with something in my mind. I once considered every noise jarring and destructive until I heard her booming laughs. Her happy chatter was so chaotic and high-pitched, yet I found myself smitten with her.

MarmaJ… that’s what I heard someone call her and from that time years ago, her name has never left my mind, as if she makes up half of my thoughts. And ever since that day I first saw her, I was amazed seeing how MarmaJ is such an outdoorsy type of person. I always threw a glance at her rolling down the slide, swinging on the monkey bar using her legs and bursting with laughter I was in awe of her ability and daring. I noticed that some kids the same age as us couldn’t do what she was doing.

The playground was her favourite spot. Even now, seeing her years later, it seems like she hasn’t aged. From all the years I’ve been watching her laugh with her clumsiness, it feels like I had come to know her deeply.

Everyone loved MarmaJ because of that proton-like vibe she released… and I was one of those who became attracted to her. Who wouldn’t be? That’s a big question to ask.

“Hey, Paras!” I was startled out of my daydream and almost lost my balance. I was on the edge of the old playground thinking of her and she walked into my reality. Had she really called my name? I thought my soul had left me for a moment. The way she called my name was so pleasing – it was as if she was singing it. Everything about her is a perfect melody with a good rhythm. If only my life were set to such a playlist.

“U-Uhm, hi. W-Why did you call me?” I had almost fallen onto the sandy ground and now I had stuttered? Geez! Why am I even stuttering? She was walking towards me and my heart fluttered. She made me feel peace and chaos in one moment and the tension of the two was making me insane!

She looked down and played with her feet, shoeless as ever. She has been like that since we were kids and I found it so cute. I mean, maybe I should start inventing words to describe her. Cute doesn’t seem to cut it. Great idea to align MarmaJ to the idea of cute. Wow. I was smiling, but feeling like a fool.

She glanced at me and smiled before saying, “I don’t know… I just felt like calling your name. Ever since we became preschool classmates, I always noticed how quiet and distant you were and I wanted to make friends with you but I was afraid that you would push me away. I know how you appreciate quiet and I am anything but. And uhm, I… uh… wanted to ask if we can be friends? I’d like to get to know you more. And, uh you look really cool with those glasses.”

As if I had been put in a microwave, everything started to feel hot. Had she really said those things? I couldn’t reply for what felt like a full minute… Why did she have to be so attractive? I knew I probably looked like a simp in that moment, but who wouldn’t look the same? She had and has everything that could capture anyone’s heart. Proof? She’d captured mine.

Staring at her beauty, I snapped at myself: She’s talking to you, nerdy head! Don’t ignore a goddess for Pete’s sake!

“Y-Yes, we can be friends and I really think you’re cute—” I began and suddenly facepalmed and turned my back on her. WHAT HAD I JUST TOLD HER, PARAS?

My god! I had never been this vocal in my whole existence and I guess if my hamsters could have heard this, they would all die from the pure cringe.

Still turned away from her, my thoughts continued their barrage: Why would you even, Paras? Gosh. Stupid. Stupid. Stup—

And then she spoke, “Thank you, Paras… hearing those words from you makes my heart flutter.”

My thoughts stopped their pacing from back and forth, and my ears suddenly felt tingly. Was there anything that was not perfect when it comes to her? She sang my name so perfectly – I could have used her voice as my lullaby. I took a deep breath and was about to face her when I felt someone being pushed on me.

“SORRY, MARMAJ!”

The next thing I knew, MarmaJ and I were laughing with her on top of me. We were covered by dirt and someone on a bicycle was peddling away after having bumped the two of us.

“I hope you’re okay!” she exclaimed between her laughs and I couldn’t help but stare at her face so close to mine.

The words escaped my lips, “I fell for a goddess, that’s why I’m totally fine.” I don’t know where I got the courage to speak those words to her, but then she just smiled at me and lent me a hand to stand.

“I never knew that a cute nerd like you could make my heart beat fast like this. Hihi! See you around… Mr. Cute Dirt!” I was about to ask what’s with the cute dirt when she suddenly pressed her lips to mine and wiped a bunch of dirty sand on my face with her hand. “MarmaJ!” I exclaimed. She only laughed in response.

Geez… I could sense how flushed I was – cheeks like a smashed tomato with everything I was feeling at that moment. I got up and stood there smiling. I couldn’t contain the happiness I felt. I was so glad that I’d been at the right place at the right time. As the saying goes, I was glad we were in sync with the swings in our hammocks.